Author Archive
Men Who Beat the Men Who Love Them: Battered Gay Men and Domestic Violence (Haworth Gay and Lesbian Studies)
March 7th, 2011 | 
Author: 
Domestic violence in gay male relationships is the third largest health problem for gay men in America today. Men Who Beat the Men Who Love Them breaks the silence surrounding gay male domestic violence and exposes this hidden yet prevalent and destructive problem. The authors paint a vivid picture of gay men’s domestic violence, bringing its brutality to life by including personal narratives, written by one of the authors, by clearly defining what it is and what it is not through lists of violent acts and criminal code categories, and by thoroughly examining and analyzing the criminal, mental health, medical, political, and interpersonal issues involved. The authors boldly depart from the battered women’s literature by asserting that batterers have a diagnosable mental disorder, that battering is not gender based, and that much further criminalization of domestic violence is necessary.Striving for victim advocacy, the book underscores the idea that gay men’s domestic violence is totally unacceptable and is caused solely by individual abusive gay men who choose to batter. The book builds on and departs from what is known about domestic violence, with the authors challenging several fundamental premises in the literature, unabashedly identifying battering as a mental disorder. The authors explain that victims cannot stop their battering partners from battering and virtually all batterers choose to harm their partners in a premeditated fashion. The authors provide practical steps and suggestions for victims who want to leave and stay away from their violent partners and for friends who want to help battered gay men. Chapters describe the scope of the problem and refute myths and misconceptions. There are several detailed theory chapters in which the authors explain why gay men’s domestic violence occurs, who the batterers are, who the victims are at different stages of victimization, and how domestic violence can be stopped. A visionary, wide-ranging governmental and private plan of action is introduced, including lists of necessary laws and policies, as well as outlines of strong education, training, and advertising problems needed in various sectors of society. As a self-help book, Men Who Beat the Men Who Love Them provides practical information on a never-before discussed topic. As a trainer’s manual or teaching guide, it includes specific criteria for understanding the problem and for providing treatment.
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Help & support
n Alcoholics anonymous: holds meetings daily throughout the Seacoast. For meeting or general information on New Hampshire Alcoholics Anonymous, call (800) 593-3330 or visit www.nhaa.net.
Published Mar 4, 2011.
Read more: Exeter News-Letter
Boys on the Side
THREE WOMEN, A CLUB MUSICIAN, A DEMURE REAL ESTATE AGENT AND AFLAKY DRUG-DEALER’S GIRLFRIEND, MAKE A BREAK WITH THEIR PASTS AND FORM AN UNLIKELY FAMILY WHILE TRAVELING ACROSS THE COUNTRYTOGETHER.
This female-bonding film takes your basic soap opera and twists it inside out. Although director Herbert Ross draws superb performances from his actresses, he occasionally wallows in that maudlin, Hollywood melodrama in which close-ups are crucial. Remember, this is the man who directed Steel Magnolias. However, Ross also does something you don’t expect: he makes you fall in love with his characters. Whoopi Goldberg is a down-on-her luck singer who hopes to start over in Los Angeles. Mary-Louise Parker is the realtor whose life is going nowhere. After Goldberg answers Parker’s ad in the paper for a companion to drive to LA, these two completely different women grudgingly find themselves emotionally involved. Drew Barrymore enters the picture on the first leg of the trip when Goldberg insists on visiting her. After battling with her drug-dealing boyfriend, the flighty, sexy Barrymore throws in with them. During their trek west, the women learn to take life as it lands on them while recognizing true friendship. The film is enlightened in that it accepts the complications and blurred family ties of the ’90s. At the heart of the story is the realization that people can expand past expected boundaries. The movie gels in other areas as well. The all-female soundtrack is powerful and works to underscore, not overpower, certain scenes. The same can be said of the supporting cast, specifically Anita Gillette and James Remar. –Rochelle O’Gorman